Stop Messing About

This was, ultimately, the follow on series to Round the Horne, and had Kenneth Williams at the helm as Kenneth Horne had died of a massive heart attack. Hugh Paddick continued to be in the show, and Joan Sims provided the female accompaniament as Betty Marsden had already decided not to go on with Round The Horne whilst Kenneth Horne was still alive, and saw no reason to change her mind. There were two series of 13 shows, and although it was successful enough to run for this long, it was no where near a patch on Round the Horne with which it was so closely compared. This was partly unfair, but only natural with a very similar cast, but without Kenneth Horne, there was no straight man to really play off of, a role in which Kenneth Williams excelled, and the listeners loyal to RTH just did not think this came up to the mark. Although Barry Took was asked to write the series, he felt that without Horne he wouldn't be able to continue, and the task of writing fell to Myles Rudge, although from reading the diaries, it was originally planned that Johnnie Mortimer and Brian Cooke would write the show under the title of 'IT'S BOLD', and the writing credits for the show go to all three. Many of the items in the series are very reminiscient of RTH and, to be honest, do not work for this simple reason.

Recording occured at the Paris Theatre, Lower Regent Street, and seemed to be on a Monday morning at 10am (which was the time of recordings for another flop involving Kenneth - obviously the BBC wanted to be seen to do something, but didn't really want to put in too much effort!). The show was brought to a close on 27th of August 1970 when Kenneth was informed that the controllers had decided not to continue with the series. All 26 episodes of the show reside in the BBC Transcription Archive (now known as Radio International) in a slightly edited form, with two shows in the main BBC Sound Archive (however one of these is a TS edition). Recently 6 off air recordings were discovered and KWAS has instigated a professional restoration of these, using the TS master recordings as a base to work from. Series one was broadcast on Radio 2 at 2pm with a repeat the following Monday at 8.45pm. Obviously the show starred Kenneth Williams, with Hugh Paddick and Joan Sims. Announcements were made by Douglas Smith, and music supplied by The Max Harris Group. The writers were Johnny Mortimer, Brian Cooke and Myles Rudge and the show was produced by John Simmonds

SERIES 1

The series started on Sunday the 6th April 1969, on Radio 2, at 2pm, repeated Mondays, R2, 8.45pm. The series starred Kenneth Williams, with Hugh Paddick and Joan Sims, and the announcer was Douglas Smith. Music was by The Max Harris Group, and the shows were written by Johnny Mortimer, Brian Cooke and Myles Rudge, and produced by John Simmonds. Note: All timings and content detailed here refer to the Transcription Service issues and not to the original broadcasts. If you have an off-recording of any of these shows, please contact me as they can probably be used in the restoration project currently underway for this series.

1:1     TX: 6.4.69     RX:17.3.69
Intro: Right, off 'ee go Ebenezer…
Across The River And Into The Trees
Nude Cast
Douglas Smith Pull-Out Supplement - Shopper's Guide/Holiday Tips
Peter, Paul & Mrs. Nosepoultice
Crackerjackanory With Mother - Arthur & Martha
Groovy Movie - No Glove For Johnnie
Out: …the producer was John Simmonds
Dur: 26'40"

1:2     TX: 13.4.69
Intro: Aha! So you poor…
Squire Jasper
The Earl Of Shotterly's Ancestral Home, Tulpurger's Hall
Crackerjackanory With Mother - Fairy Story, Overture
Douglas Smith Pull-Out Supplement - Tips For The Housewife/Legal Problem
Peter, Paul & Mrs. Nosepoultice: On Top Of Old Smokey
Groovy Movie - The Dirty Half-Dozen
Out: …the producer was John Simmonds
Dur: 26'55"

1:3     TX: 20.4.69
Intro: Ladies and gentlemen, once again...
Time To Wind Up The Show
Stuffed Bear
Crackerjackanory With Mother - The Bee, With His Rifle
Douglas Smith Pull-Out Supplement - Tulpurger's Hall/Correspondence Corner
Vadaing Back - Marvello, Mind Reader & Wanda
Peter, Paul & Mrs. Nosepoultice: The Telephone Exchange Apprentice
Groovy Movie - Isadora
Out: …the producer was John Simmonds
Dur: 26'56"

1:4     TX: 27.4.69     RX: 14.4.69
Intro: Hold. Hold I day…
Highwayman
Kenneth's Popular Movement
The Earl Of Shotterly's Ancestral Home, Tulpurger's Hall
Crackerjackanory With Mother - Florence & The Plumber, I'm A Falling Leaf
Douglas Smith Pull-Out Supplement - Correspondence Corner
Vadaing Back - Pilot
Peter, Paul & Mrs. Nosepoultice: It's Time We All Moved On
2002 - A Space Oddity
Out: …the producer was John Simmonds
Dur: 26'59"

1:5     TX: 4.5.69     RX: 21.4.69
Intro: I don't like it, there's a submarine…
Submarine Search
Blue Pencil
The Earl Of Shotterly's Ancestral Home, Tulpurger's Hall
Crackerjackanory With Mother - The 486 Bears, Gooseberry Fair
Vadaing Back - Restauranteurs
Peter, Paul & Mrs. Nosepoultice: The Doggy Doggy Few
Oliver Stick
Out: …the producer was John Simmonds
Dur: 27'00"

1:6     TX: 11.5.69     RX: 28.4.69
Intro: I was in here last week…
Pain In Belly
The Kenneth Williams Exhibition
The Earl Of Shotterly's Ancestral Home, Tulpurger's Hall
Crackerjackanory With Mother - How To Make An English Totem Pole, Two Little Mice
Vadaing Back - Secret Service Agents
Peter, Paul & Mrs. Nosepoultice: Hang Down Your Head, Dai Thomas
Fanny Girl
Out: …the producer was John Simmonds
Dur: 26'56

1:7     TX: 18.5.69     RX: 5.5.69
Intro: Oh, my peach blossom…
Your Place Or Mine?
Kenneth's Autobiography
The Earl Of Shotterly's Ancestral Home, Tulpurger's Hall - Music Room
Crackerjackanory With Mother - The Mad Scientist, The Shepherd Boy
Vadaing Back - Gym Managers
Peter, Paul & Mrs. Nosepoultice: French Lessons
A Fist Full Of Dinaro
Out: …the producer was John Simmonds
Dur: 26'46

1:8     TX: 25/5/69     RX: 12.5.69
Intro: Arthur, I cannot sleep…
Sleepless The Kenneth Williams Admiration Club Meg and Tone: Fear Of Cabinets Maude Nethersole Pull Out Supplement Vadaing Back - Naval Minister Peter, Paul & Mrs. Nosepoultice Pullet Out: …the producer was John Simmonds
Dur: 26'39

1:9     TX: 1.6.69     RX:19.5.69     MT 32376 (original broadcast held)
Intro: Look, look, coming down the high street…
Monster
The Kenneth Williams Awards
Meg And Tone: Love Is A Four Letter Word, But Who's Counting? - Hitler
Problem Corner - QE2
Crackerjackanory With Mother - Mervyn the Brontosaurus, Goblin Market Day
Vadaing Back - Conjurers
Peter, Paul & Mrs. Nosepoultice: Once A Jolly Gasman
Romeo And Juliet
Out: …the producer was John Simmonds
Dur: 27'02"

1:10     TX: 8.6.69     RX: 26.5.69
Intro: Command module to base…
Spacemen
Kenneth's Album Of Press Cuttings
Meg And Tone: Should A Woman Reveal All?
Problem Corner - Space Travel
Crackerjackanory With Mother - Grace Goose, The Lady And The Sailor
Vadaing Back - Holiday Camp
Peter, Paul & Mrs. Nosepoultice: A Lady Up In Halifax
Tarzan Of The Budgies
Out: …the producer was John Simmonds
Dur: 26'53"

1:11     TX: 15.6.69     RX: 2.6.69
Intro: So you refuse to talk, eh?…
Ways To Make You Talk
The Williams Family Tree
Meg And Tone - Post Office Tower
Problem Corner - Staircases
Crackerjackanory With Mother - Hansel & Gretel, Centipedes On Parade
Vadaing Back - Oil Company
Peter, Paul & Mrs. Nosepoultice: The Lady Osteopath
The Adventures Of Dando Tweakshaft
Out: …the producer was John Simmonds
Dur: 26'41"

1:12     TX: 22.6.69     RX: 9.6.69
Intro: [FX: Phone rings] Police station…
Man Breaking Down Woman's Bedroom Door
Kenneth's Serialised War Memoirs
Problem Corner - Rommel's Right-Hand Man
Crackerjackanory With Mother - The Mermaid & The Turtle, The Knight
Correspondence Corner - Indoor Games
Vadaing Back - Racing Drivers
Peter, Paul & Mrs. Nosepoultice: Shenandoah
Topfifi
Out: …the producer was John Simmonds
Dur: 26'49"

1:13     TX: 29.6.69     RX: 16.6.69
Intro: Just look at that…
There's A Man End of series thanks Meg and Tone Problem Corner Maude Nethersole Correspondence corner Vadaing Forward - Space Travellers Peter, Paul & Mrs. Nosepoultice Lost... But Not Gone... With The Wind Out: …the producer was John Simmonds
Dur: 26'40"

SERIES 2

The second series hit the airwaves in the same Sunday slot (2pm) on the 19th April 1970. By this time Brian Cooke and Johnnie Mortimer had left the writing team and the script by Myles Rudge, David Cumming, and Derek Collyer, with production again by John Simmonds.

2:1     TX: 19.4.70     RX: 30.3.70
Intro: [FX: Court room noise] Prisoner at the bar…
Prisoner At The Bar - Driving Under The Influence
Joan Knits A Pullover For Hugh
Bakery Swiss Roll Girls Walkout
Crackerjackanory With Mother - The Emperor With No Heirs, A Glass Of Rice Wine
The Smith Report - The Population Explosion
Problem Corner - Leaner To The Left
The Maxi-length Harris Male Voice Choir: Swan Lake
Feeble Fables - Shipwrecked On Desert Island
Out: …the producer was John Simmonds
Dur: 26'40"

2:2     TX: 26.4.70     RX: 6.4.70
Intro: Ladies and gentlemen…
Hugh's Photograph For Joan
Crime - Burglary
Crackerjackanory With Mother - The Old Watchmaker, Yodel Song
Feeble Fables - The Tomb Of Tutankhamun
Problem Corner - Supersonic Bangs
The Maxi-length Harris Male Voice Choir: Beethoven's Fifth
The Smith Report - The Television Industry
Out: …the producer was John Simmonds
Dur: 26'40"

2:3     TX: 3.5.70     RX: 13.4.70     T85967 (TS copy held)
Intro: Honestly Roger, it's too bad…
Special Day
Hugh And Joan's First Date - Dr. Zhivago
Sid And Rita Dipfinger's Cost Of Living
Crackerjackanory With Mother - Jeffrey The Seal, The Aurora Borealis Waltz
Feeble Fables - The You Can't Do That There Era
Problem Corner - Claustrophobia Of The Feet
The Maxi-length Harris Male Voice Choir: The Trolling Song
The Smith Report - Travel
Out: …the producer was John Simmonds
Dur: 26'31"

2:4     TX: 10.5.70     RX: 20.4.70
Intro: [FX: Crowd noise] Order, order…
Noise Abatement Society
Hugh And Joan's Lovers' Tiff
Sid And Rita Dipfinger's Holiday Plans
Crackerjackanory With Mother - Seamus The Leprechaun, The Nanny Goat
Feeble Fables - The Yorkshire Puddings
Problem Corner - Sexually Attractive To Birds
The Maxi-length Harris Male Voice Choir: Johann Strauss Waltz
The Smith Report - Education
Out: …the producer was John Simmonds
Dur: 26'59"

2:5     TX: 17.5.70     RX: 27.4.70
Intro: [Scream] Edgar, Edgar…
Hideous Creature
Kenneth's Record
Crackerjackanory With Mother - The Sultan's Wives, Kismet
Feeble Fables - Hells Angels
Problem Corner - Looking Through Holes In LPs
The Maxi-length Harris Male Voice Choir: The Soldiers' Chorus
The Smith Report - Love
Out: …the producer was John Simmonds
Dur: 26'52"

2:6     TX: 24.5.70     RX: 4.5.70
Intro: Ladies and gentlemen…
Hugh And Joan Plan For A Weekend In Paris
Crackerjackanory With Mother - The French Impressionist, Bonsoir, Monsieur
Feeble Fables - POW Camp
Problem Corner - Underwater Designing
The Maxi-length Harris Male Voice Choir: Frederick Chopin
The Smith Report - Show Business
Out: …the producer was John Simmonds
Dur: 26'56"

2:7     TX: 31.5.70     RX: 11.5.70
Intro: La, la, la, la, …
Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture
Kenneth's Underground Pop Group
Crackerjackanory With Mother - William The Worm, In An English Garden
Feeble Fables - Dodge City Western
Sid And Rita Dipfinger's D.I.Y. Neighbour
The Maxi-length Harris Male Voice Choir: Dance Of The Sugar Plum Fairy
The Smith Report - Literature
Out: …the producer was John Simmonds
Dur: 27'12"

2:8     TX: 7.6.70     RX: 18.5.70
Intro: Silence in court…
Optician In Court
Hugh And Joan's Holiday In Brighton
Head Prefect's Poetry Reading
Crackerjackanory With Mother - Doris The Gypsy Dancer, The Geranium
Feeble Fables - The Dark Ages
Problem Corner - Psychic Powers
Sid And Rita Dipfinger's Home-made Wine
The Maxi-length Harris Male Voice Choir: The Grasshopper Song
The Smith Report - Commerce
Out: …the producer was John Simmonds
Dur: 27'04"

2:9     TX: 14.6.70     RX: 25.5.70
Intro: Well now Miss Prenderghast…
Husband Thinks He's Frank Sinatra
Jokes
Crackerjackanory With Mother - The Attila Girls' Boarding House, I Met You One Night
Feeble Fables - Secret Agents
Problem Corner - Chronic Digitisis
Sid And Rita Dipfinger - Airport Redevelopment
The Smith Report - The Cinema
Out: …and the announcer was Douglas Smith (Shut yer face!)
Dur: 27'01"

2:10     TX: 21.6.70     RX: 6.6.70
Intro: That's a double room with bath then sir…
Mr. & Mrs. Smith
Kenneth's Second Book Of Poetry
Crackerjackanory With Mother - Hilda The Porcupine, A Handsome Young Zulu
Feeble Fables - Search For Missing Brother
Problem Corner - Static Electricity
Sid And Rita Dipfinger's Indoor Plants
The Maxi-length Harris Male Voice Choir: Pizzicato
The Smith Report - Crime
Out: …the producer was John Simmonds
Dur: 26'59"

2:11     TX: 28.6.70     RX: 13.6.70
Intro: Prisoner at the bar…
Prisoner At The Bar - Riding Bicycle Without Lights
Douglas Smith's Rave-Up
Crackerjackanory With Mother - Flora The Cow, Bonnie Wee Angus
Feeble Fables - Tahitian Club
Problem Corner - New Musical Note Discovery
Sid And Rita Dipfinger's Next-Door Neighbour
The Maxi-length Harris Male Voice Choir: Two Little Omes
The Smith Report - Radio
Out: …the producer was John Simmonds
Dur: 26'51"

2:12     TX: 5.7.70     RX: 20.6.70
Intro: Rumbold, why aren't you out in the playground…
Smoking In Class
Hugh And Joan's Evening Art Classes
Crackerjackanory With Mother - Edith The Valkyrie, Alphonse Loves Liesel
Sid And Rita Dipfinger's Lodger
Problem Corner - Brussels Sprouts
The Maxi-length Harris Male Voice Choir: Offenbach's Can Can
The Smith Report - Marriage
Out: …the producer was John Simmonds
Dur: 26'53"

2:13     TX: 12.7.70     RX: 27.6.70
Intro: Right then, I've got the cards ready…
Strip Poker
Joan's New Lover
Crackerjackanory With Mother - Louise The Elephant, The Indian Musician
Feeble Fables - The Harem Recruit
Problem Of The Week - Desire To Be Archbishop
Sid And Rita Dipfinger's Birthday Preparations
The Maxi-length Harris Male Voice Choir: Felix Mendelssohn
The Smith Report - The Entire World
Stop Messing About
Out: …the producer was John Simmonds
Dur: 26'50"